Has anyone ever told you to go ahead and do the very thing you’re afraid of?

Don’t like heights? Go skydiving.

Fear public speaking more than death? Volunteer for a presentation.

Too nervous to ask someone out on a date? Sign up for speed dating.

All of that sounds crazy, right? But it turns out there’s actually a method to this madness.

Facing your fears head-on is rooted in what’s known as paradoxical intention. The idea is that, by facing the thing you fear, you can eliminate all of the anxiety you have built up around that thing.

Take away the anxiety, the fear diminishes.

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What Does This Have To Do With Sleep?

Great question!

Let’s say you’ve had trouble with your sleep for the past six months. Not only is your problem obvious to you at night when your alarm clock is staring 3:00 AM back at you, but it's affecting your days as well.

You’ve moved from three daily cups of coffee to five (ok, sometimes six). You fight the urge to crawl under your desk for a mid-afternoon nap more than a few times a week. And you find yourself less than enthused to meet up with friends or do the things you usually love because you’re just so d**n tired.

When insomnia has taken over your life like this, it’s normal to build up worry around going to bed at night.

You know you’re going to struggle to fall asleep tonight. You know you’re going to feel like crap in the morning because you didn’t get the sleep you needed. And you know that all of this is going to happen no matter how hard to try to just fall asleep.

Straight-up stressful.

How Do I Use Paradoxical Intention To Help Me Sleep?

For starters, you need to stay awake for as long as you possibly can.

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Think about it like this: Your insomnia is made worse because you’re anxious about not being able to sleep. So to face that fear straight in the face, you intentionally push yourself to stay awake.

In short:

Stop trying to fall asleep.

In practice, paradoxical intention should look something like this:

• Stay awake and make no effort to fall asleep. Don’t go into your bedroom, don’t lay down, don’t try and force your eyes closed.
• Try doing something that’s low-key and relaxing. We recommend meditation, reading a book, listening to a favorite playlist, or stretching.
• Once you find yourself absolutely unable to stay awake, then and only then, go to your bed. Again, don’t focus on trying to fall asleep here. Continue with breathing exercises, meditation, or a sleep playlist until you doze off.

You’re removing any pressure you’ve been placing on yourself to fall asleep, thereby diminishing the anxiety you’ve developed around the situation. You’re learning to accept being awake and gently allowing yourself to drift off.

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